I finished my Mendocino walkabout today…

thinking about America… the way it used to be...

HEY!  WHAT HAPPENED?  I’M Feeling a little like Ray Milland after he lost a weekend...

Reuters published the report of the Social Progress Index (SPI) for this year and they say America ain’t number one.  Based on fifty indicators, the Social Progress Index rates 132 countries , putting New Zealand as number one and Chad as number one-hundred-thirty-two.  The United States ranked SIXTEENTH?  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  What’s with that? Ain’t we number one no more? Don’t we have Justin Bieber... Oh, Canadian, huh?... well, then, how about Kim Kardashian... she’s American as apple pie, ain’t she? She was born in Beverly Hills, and you can’t get more American than that.  Ask John Roberts.  He’s American, ain’t he? 

Following New Zealand in first place, Switzerland is next, then Iceland and after Iceland, The Netherlands is in fourth place. How the hell did Iceland get in there... and in third place?  I can understand Switzerland because I hear that’s where at least one percent of Americans keep a lot of money… and The Netherlands…no surprise there… but It’s cold in Iceland.  It almost never gets cold in Beverly Hills. In Iceland hey’ve got a lot of hot springs and steam for steam baths,  but I know for a fact that there are steam baths in Beverly Hills, and you don’t even have to go outside to do it…take a steam bath, I mean.  

O.K., O.K., Steam baths are not the point.  Why aren’t we NUMBER ONE? The Social Progress Imperative describes what it does and why...  “The SPI ranks countries by social and environmental performance rather than economic output in a drive to make social progress a priority for politicians and businesses.”  What I want to know is this.  Everybody knows the U.S. ranks right up there ahead of the “best of them” in economic strength and military power... so why doesn’t that get translated into social progress. Has somebody told John Roberts and Clarence Thomas about this? Is that what’s bugging them?  Isn’t there something they can do to set this right... some decision they can make?

Oh, what are those words and phrases again?  Social:  Didn’t I already point out the well known Kardashian family from Beverly Hills, and they have their own reality show and all. They’re real, aren’t they? ... and very, very social.  ...and as for progress haven’t we got Silicon Valley?... right up somewhere above L.A. What more could anyone want than Silicon Valley and Beverly Hills?... and they’re both in California and California is in the the U.S. of A.  Everybody in American knows that.  Don’t they? We make drones, don’t we? Haven’t those rating people heard of Facebook and Google?  We’ve got both of those and they’re all about social networking and social interfacing.  

I read the report... well, don’t jump to the conclusion that I really read the whole report. I read the Reuters report of the report, and that’s enough to make my blood boil.  Now, don’t jump to another conclusion that I don’t know that blood doesn’t actually boil when I say something like “makes my blood boil.”  Wasn’t I raised and educated right here in the U.S. of A.  Oh, yeah.  There is that.  According to the ratings report, the U.S. excels, but is not #1, in access to advanced education but ranks 39th in basic education. What the hell is “basic” education?  Didn’t I prove that anybody educated in the U.S. probably knows Silicon Valley is in California... somewhere up there north of Beverly Hills… remember that's where the Kardashians are from anyway.  Now don’t get me going about ending that sentence with a preposition.  Didn’t I put anyway at the end just so the preposition wouldn’t be last...  Get off my back.  Now don’t jump to the conclusion that I think somebody is literally on my back.  I also don’t think putting prepositions at the end of our sentences got us put into 39th place in basic education. Maybe knowing Kim Kardashian was born in Beverly Hills doesn’t help get us a higher place in the ratings... and probably guessing her sister Kourtney was born in Beverly Hills doesn't rack up points; although I didn’t look that up to be sure.

About other United States ratings:  70th in health, 69th in ecosystem sustainability, 34th in access to water and sanitation, and 31st in personal safety.  In access to cellphones and the Internet…  we're in 23rd place because one in five Americans lacks Internet access.   

So here’s what it means:  The Social Progress Index rates countries on indicators like health, sanitation, shelter, personal safety, access to information, sustainability, tolerance and inclusion and access to education.  The SPI investigates whether a country can satisfy its people’s basic needs and whether it has the infrastructure and capacity to allow its citizens to improve the quality of their lives and reach their full potential.  We’re sixteenth.