The Ritual of Marriage
Clyde Yoshida and Dave Andrews
Sunday, June 29, 2008

THE CEREMONY

TO THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS: This morning all of us here have the privilege of participating in the marriage of Dave Andrews and Clyde Yoshida. Dave and Clyde have made clear to me the importance of your participation in their ceremony of marriage. You are more than witnesses. You will be asked to pledge to give your assent to and your support of the marriage that will be established today, a marriage that was forbidden by law until a couple of weeks ago. Today, then, is an historic celebration. All of us here, and thousands of other couples who are getting married in the next few months are making history. A domestic partnership is one thing...actually, a good thing; but it is not marriage. Domestic partnership is separate from, and not equal to marriage. What we are doing here today is marriage. The ritual that we are enacting together this morning is a serious and sacred ceremony. Cultures from the earliest times in the history of mankind have performed rituals of marriage to strengthen and support relationships between two people, joining two families. The community is made stronger and better for it. It is expected that this marriage will make stronger and better both the community and the household of Dave Andrews and Clyde Yoshida. So, Let’s begin.

Richard Bach, in The Bridge Across Forever, has a statement that sums up beautifully why commitment and marriage are important.

“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can e loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soul mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.”

TO THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS: Years ago Dave and Clyde became partners, established a home together. They weren’t allowed to be married. Today that changes. They are about to become legally wedded spouses. We have agreed that the ritual of marriage should begin with a saying of vows. We are privileged to listen as Clyde and Dave exchange their vows. Years ago they exchanged rings, but today is a recommitment, so I’m asking them now to give back, just for the moment, the rings they exchanged. These are precious rings, the perfect symbols of their unending love.

TO CLYDE AND DAVE: Clyde, you will end your statement of vows with the words with, “Dave, I give you back this ring today as a token of my unending love for you,” and you will place the ring on his finger. And, Dave, after you have said your vows, you will make the same statement to Clyde and place the ring on his finger.

Clyde: Dave,

You are my teacher. You’ve taught me to be less materialistic and to stand up for myself. You’ve taught me that we can use the example of our commitment to each other to teach the skeptical that love is an enduring force. It is prevalent, grand and defies a narrow definition. Love is not a commodity to be owned by a few and limited by hate or ignorance.

You are my clown. You make me laugh. You protect the inner child in me. I can be silly, a goof and moody—I can be myself around you with absolutely no judgment. I love to look into those beautiful, innocent and wise Aquarius eyes and in return, you see me, love me and take me with you on this life adventure. You are also always full of surprise.

You are my joy. Combined with chocolate, you give me so much happiness that I am bursting at the seams. I love the morning. Waking with you and sharing all that is between the sunrise and the next sunrise. I will always be there for you. We are, since we have in the beginning, entwined in life together just as the ribbons connect our friends and family today.

You are ours. You give yourself to others and they are richer for it too. I am willing to share because the joy that abounds creates a loving cradle for our infant souls to thrive.

Dave: Clyde. I love you.

You prove to me every single day how lucky I am to share my life with you. Thank you so much.

During the 15 years we have already shared, you have filled my life with an almost overwhelming sense of joy and happiness. We have enjoyed a storybook love affair that begins a new chapter today.

How many people, for example, tell their sweet one they will be missed even during the shortest absence? When we are apart, I can’t wait to be together again. And when we are together, I think my heart beats a little stronger.

I’m very proud of all we have accomplished together. We have a wonderful network of friends and family. Our home is full of whimsy, happiness, peace, and love.

I respect and admire you and am improved by your presence in my life. Your kindness makes me kinder. Your creativity makes me more creative. As you achieve wonderful things in your profession, you inspire me to grow in mine.

You inspire me to believe in hope and peace. Because of you I look for and find the best in other people.

I love being part of you and knowing that you are part of me. You are the best partner in life that anybody could ask for. You are my love, and my heart will be yours always.

Thank you for marrying me today and for sharing your world with me. I love you.

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Commitment: If you truly commit to each other you will answer, “I do.”

Dave, Do you take Clyde to be your lawfully wedded spouse for all the days of your life; to love him more today than you did yesterday, yet less today than you will tomorrow; to nurture your marriage for as long as you both shall live?

Clyde, Do you take Dave to be your lawfully wedded spouse for all the days of your life; to love him more today than you did yesterday, yet less today than you will tomorrow; to nurture your marriage for as long as you both shall live?


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TO THE GUESTS:

This is your part, besides being witnesses to this marriage: Do you, friends and family, promise to stand by these two with your support and encouragement, to celebrate with them the good times and to be ready always with compassion and help in challenging times, for as long as you are able?

Answer: We Will.

We have done together everything that is necessary for Dave Andrews and Clyde Yoshida to become a lawfully married couple. All that’s left to do is for me to make the familiar official pronouncement.

Ladies and Gentlemen, by the authority vested in me by the State of California, it is now my honor and privilege to declare that you are married, that you are now lawfully wedded spouses.

Congratulations... You should now signal with a kiss the beginning of your married life together and the beginning of our after-the-wedding celebration.