…BEGINNING with the Banana Slug

DEPENDS ON WHOSE OX IS GORED...  

“If a bull gores a man or woman to death, the bull is to be stoned to death, and its meat must not be eaten.  But the owner of the bull will not be held responsible.  If, however, the bull has had the habit of goring and the owner has been warned but has not kept it penned up and it kills a man or woman, the bull is to be stoned and the owner also is to be put to death. However, if payment is demanded, the owner may redeem his life by the payment of whatever is demanded.”  

Exodus 21:28-30

Now somebody tell me again why it is that the Bible is considered to be the divinely inspired, inerrant Word of God and why it is that many of the people who worship that referenced god believe that obeying directives and commandments of that god is always the right thing to do...come hell or high water. (You may want to check Genesis, chapters 5 through 10 for what to do about hell and high water.)  I got onto this little wild goose chase (I’m thinking I’ll take a chance by being completely irreverent here, delivering myself like a gazelle from the hunter’s hand and like a bird from the hand of the fowler, etc. [reference here is Proberbs 6:5] over the “hell or high water” metaphor by changing from ox to goose ) when I read in The Press Democrat newspaper this morning that Republican farmers in the Central Valley are feeling the squeeze (they grow oranges, no bull) not so much from the drought which they suggest has been caused by Democrats in Congress, particularly Nancy Pelosi whom they despise, but from the scarcity of laborers to work their land and harvest their crops... and the farmers, mostly Republicans, are mixing feelings the way I am mixing metaphors. Chuck Herrin (Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying get rid of this guy whose last name is Herrin.  I'm thinking his name is Charles, so they call him Chuck), a farm-labor contractor and lifelong Republican who grew up in Central California, says  “What we have going on now is a farce -- a waste of time and money.  The country should be considering ways to bring workers in, not keep them out.  We need these people (he means Mexicans) to get our food to market.” 

Does Mr. Herrin know that the only way “the country” can figure out how to bring in workers” is by having the Speaker of the House of Representatives bring the issue to the floor of Congress for discussion and action?  Does he know that the Speaker of the House is a Republican and that the Republicans, a majority in Congress, are the ones refusing to produce an immigration law that would allow farmers to hire immigrant workers?  Nearly all farm workers in the Central Valley of California are immigrants.  Herrin explained that home grown Americans don’t do that kind of work. According to estimates from agricultural economists at UC Davis., roughly half of California’s immigrants are living in the U.S. illegally.  

Another Republican, Tom Nassif, the president of the Western Growers Association, said, “I can tell you if the Republicans don’t put something forward on immigration, there is going to be a very loud hue and cry from us in agriculture.  We are a tremendously important part of the party, and they should not want to lose us.”  

Oh, I know, I know!  You’re thinking I’ve forgotten that we’ve got some despicable doings going on in the Democratic Party, too. The party may not have been gored by an ox, but it has been butted and bruised by its own asses.  State Democrat Leland Yee from San Francisco was arrested last week in an FBI sweep on corruption and gun trafficking charges. The senate suspended Yee and two other Democrat state senators, Ron Calderon, on corruption charges, and Rod Wright, found guilty of voter fraud. Adding insult to injury to the party and to California voters, all three declined to forgo their $95,291 annual salaries while they are on suspension which will almost surely end with dismissal without pay in the near future. Good riddance of bad rubbish. 

Start with a metaphor; end with an idiom.