When I asked him how he knows what is the right thing to do, he said, “I ask myself what Jesus would do.”

Having only just met the guy before we began to talk about the election and I learned we had very different ideas about who should be elected, I hesitated only a moment to ask another more pointed question; but considering he had volunteered earlier in the conversation that he is always absolutely sure he is voting the right way...  I wanted to know, “Which Jesus do you ask?”

 

He seemed baffled by my question.  “There’s only one Jesus,” he exclaimed with certainty.  

I asked him if he hadn’t noticed that there are many Jesuses, depending on who’s doing the talking.  “Do you mean the Mormon Jesus or the Roman Catholic Jesus or the Anglican Catholic Jesus or the Methodist Jesus... or maybe the Southern Baptist Jesus... or maybe a Quaker Jesus? What’s the name of your religion? Who is your religion’s Jesus?”

“What difference does my religion make?” he wanted to know. 

“Well, for on thing, the Quaker Jesus wouldn’t start any wars... no matter what.  The Southern Baptist Jesus wouldn’t hesitate to build up a big army and let the world know that in the name of Jesus they are going to make the world the kind of place their Jesus wants it to be.  The Catholic Jesus doesn’t approve of condoms... not that he actually had any first-hand, pardon the expression, experience with a condom. And the last I heard on the subject, the Catholic Jesus, incredible as it sounds, frowns on masturbation.  And although the Southern Baptist Jesus and the Catholic Jesus don’t see eye to eye on most things, both their Jesuses are disgusted with the idea of a couple of guys kissing or a couple of girls hugging and kissing... and it’s not likely those Jesuses are going to warm anytime soon to the idea of two guys or two girls hooking up in a marriage unless its boy with girl and girl with boy.  The Methodist Jesus apparently doesn’t particularly dislike homosexuals personally, he just doesn’t want them to get together to make families.  If they are useful to the church, like donating money or making beautiful music, they are invited to participate.  Just don’t make families... and if they do decide to hook up and become a family, the church mustn’t have anything to do with it... like a wedding or a reception or a blessing.  And there are organizations that aren’t legitimate religions but that nevertheless make up a Jesus to suit their purposes.  The K.K.K.. for example, made it clear that their Jesus definitely favors white people over black people.  Their Jesus wants black people out of the picture altogether... especially black people who do anything to offend white people.  Shooting offending black people in some dark private place was said to be the preferred punishment, but occasionally hanging a black man or burning someone to death is a good way to let people know what the K.K.K. Jesus prefers. You remember the Crusades, don’t you? Those were Catholics going out to rid the world of infidels... mostly Moslems... but if Jews got in the way, their belonging to the same ethnic group and religion as the First Century Jesus didn’t save them from persecution and outright destruction.  And there was the Catholic Jesus who inspired the Spanish Inquisition, and not so long ago in Europe, a madman whipped up enthusiasm among Christians for eradicating Jews.  At least five million of them were killed while Lutheran, Baptist, and Catholic Jesuses didn’t offer enough objection to stop the slaughter.   See what I mean?  Now which Jesus do you want to tell you how you should vote come election day?”  

My new acquaintance changed the subject... said it’s supposed to be warmer tomorrow and we can expect heavy rain on Tuesday.

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Obviously, there are many Jesuses.  Ask a methodist who Jesus is and you may hear that he was something or other.  Pressed further you may hear that Jesus was the Prince of Peace, Savior, the Messiah, a teacher.  Ask another Methodist and you may get another answer.  Perhaps the past tense verb will be changed to present tense with an emphasis on a Jesus that lives still... at least in Heaven and for some people in the heart.  Asked specifically what that means, the answer may include the statement that Jesus is in heaven sitting on a throne at the right side of God, his Father.  Another Methodist might simply say he sits on the right side of The Father.  Ask a Baptist and the description of Jesus may be very much like that of a Methodist, perhaps with the added emphasis that their Jesus is absolutely the only way to be saved and to be guaranteed a reservation for a place in Heaven.  A Buddhist or a Hindu doesn’t stand a chance.  The Baptist Jesus wouldn’t give even Ghandi a pass into Heaven if he didn’t bother to be born again.  You’ll have to ask a Baptist or other Evangelical about that. I’m a little unclear on what the Baptist Jesus does to make that happen.  Ask a Mormon and you learn the Book of Mormon tells of a visit to America by Jesus shortly after his resurrection. The Eastern Orthodox Christians of Serbia believed their Jesus  went along with their plan to expand their territory by taking away the parts of the former Yugoslavia that were claimed by Croatia, Bosnia and to some extent Slovenia.  I’m not a student of those conflicts, but I’ve seen the destroyed homes and churches (Roman Catholic) and talked with both Serbs and Croates who swear that they were right and that their religion gave them reassurance of their rightness.  I didn’t talk with anyone who actually claimed righteousness in their actions during that bloody period in the 1990s. Most of them prefer to hear their war described as ethnic conflict rather than religious war.  

Human ethnicity wasn’t a problem in the Southern U.S.A.  I actually heard one of my Southern uncles say that the problem with “the coloreds”  wasn’t an ethnic problem.  He said, and I swear I heard him say it, “Niggers are just like mules. Religion doesn’t apply to animals.”  I hurry to say that many, perhaps even the majority (We’re talking 1960s here) of Southerners didn’t share my uncle’s views; but the majority of them didn’t want Blacks to have equal rights.  Some of them haven’t got over it yet and are determined not to forget or forgive the United States’ government’s putting an end to legal segregation. We all know there is still tacit segregation, ethnic and economic, all over America; and many of the folks who hold on to their bigotry believe their Jesus backs them up in it.

The good news is that we can be better than we are... and the Jesus I have in mind can help with that.  It’s not a religious thing. Approval for right behavior isn’t bought at church. The right thing to do is almost always the logical thing to do.