Frankly, I don’t particularly like it that Ted Cruz talks about my financial situation and distorts the facts. I overheard him complaining to someone the other day, I don’t remember which T.V. news anchor it was... I just know it wasn’t Matt Lauer because I don’t watch Matt Lauer anymore since he and a couple of Barbie Dolls are selling entertainment first and maybe a little news, if the news doesn’t take too much time away from an important performance by Miley Cyrus or Justin Beeber... and I know it wasn’t any of those dumb heads on Fox News because... well, I just wouldn’t... Oh, what I was about to say was that Ted Cruz was complaining to a national “news” reporter that every American, every man woman and child, is indebted to the tune of $51, 521 because we all share the national debt.

At first I thought that was a terrible thing, then I started to think about what every individual owes on a ledger that also shows the net worth of every individual if we figured up all the assets of the United States of America and if we calculated the value of those assets and figured how much of that value belongs to each and every American citizen, the net worth (calculated in terms of the piece of the big pie every citizen owns) of each of us would be pretty impressive.  

Then I got to thinking about what it actually means.  I OWN A PIECE OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.  I own a piece of Mount Rushmore.  I own a piece of the road that runs up to my house. I own a part of the Coronado Bridge. I own that light house out at the end of Point Loma.  I own the White House and the Capitol and a piece of all the Monets and Rembrandts and Vermeers in all the museums that belong to the people of the United States of America.  I own a piece of every battleship and every aircraft carrier and every... Well, you get the idea.

So, Ted Cruz... I know you and Sarah Palin are buddies because I saw you and Sarah cozying up to some veterans at a monument that belongs partly to me... so tell her and everybody else you talk with about how much I owe that I’m in pretty good shape considering everything we all together own.  Talk a bit about my assets.  Then get off my ASSets and get back to work doing what I’m paying you to do.  The last time I checked, your base salary is $174,000... plus benefits... and the benefits are pretty impressive. I can’t really figure out what you’re complaining about.  Why does it annoy you that I’m not moaning about some of what I pay in taxes going to fund programs like Head Start and the Food Stamp Program and that I’m eager with my tax dollars to help pay for a national health program so all Americans can get the medical care they need. 

Get Real!