It’s been a long time since my children were actually “children,” but I don’t remember feeling as if I had to tell them cautionary tales to keep them safe when they were out in the world... or to give them specific advice about what “not to do under any circumstances.” I assumed it wasn’t necessary. I was wrong. Now that I’m an old man looking back, I sometimes try to excuse myself for those lapses of judgement by declaring that “times were better then.” Of course, that’s not true. There have always been people “out there” who can and will hurt others, especially when they think they are being provoked.

So what would I say to them if they were young children now, and what do I think I should I be saying to Michael and Jeremy and Dael and Bryn and Lee and Shae and Ava and Nina and Julian? What would I like to have had the chance to say to Trayvon Martin?

I’d say something like this: As you go about the business of staying alive and well on this earth, try to think of people generally as being good and helpful rather than bad and dangerous... But keep in mind also that there are some out there who can hurt you. In “real life” there’s more reporting of what bad people do than what good people do, so you may hear more about them than about good people who do great good for mankind. In school you hear about historical figures like Hitler and Stalin and Bloody Mary and about fictional characters like Darth Vader and Voldemort. You must know that people who can hurt you aren’t always people who are obviously evil. You can be hurt even by people whose intentions are not evil, but who nevertheless are foolish enough, perhaps stupid enough, to carry a gun. If someone confronts you and demands to know who you are and what you are doing, as was apparently the case of Trayvon Martin, say clearly and as assuredly as possible why you are where you are and where you are going...without being confrontational. If the person is hostile, demeaning, or solicitous in any way, don’t get into an argument but go as quickly as you can to where there are likely to be other people. If the person moves toward you menacingly or in a way that seems to you to be inappropriate for the situation, yell for help as loudly as you can and move as quickly as possible away in a direction where there may be other people. Try very hard not to touch the person who threatens you. If there is a house nearby with lights on in it, go there and pound on the door.

I’ll save other things I would say to them for a later time... except maybe that generally it’s a good idea not to be in unsafe places in the first place, especially if you are alone... And if you are black... or if English isn’t your first language... or if you are gay... and be very wary if you are in Arizona where a law inforcement officer can stop and detain you if he/she thinks you look like someone who might be illegal... And perhaps you should be careful if you go to Alaska, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming Nevada Arizona, New Mexico, Vermont, Kentucky, and Virginia where citizens are allowed to carry concealed guns without a permit or license. Now that I think of it, you’d be wise to avoid Utah, North Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, Tennessee, Mississippi, Georgia, Indiana, Maryland, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Arkansas, Texas, and Illinois... where the law allows people to carry concealed guns after they’ve paid their money to get a permit or license.

Oh, Yes... I almost forgot. Maybe as a general rule you’d better stay out of Florida altogether. Some people who live there think the law allows them to shoot you if they feel threatened. Florida’s legislature passed a bill in 2005 which has come to be known as the “Stand Your Ground” law.