ABOUT YESTERDAY’S BIRD: According to Bibbi Jordan of Crest, it is not a wren.  “If the color is true, (it looks much too greenish), but I'd say it is a yellow warbler; the light always plays tricks with color. And now that I check my Stokes bird book, he says the female is a "buffy olive". Lucky you!  They used to come to the house in Crest, and their song is glorious.”
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The BIG HEADLINE... BREAKING NEWS STORY: Pope Benedict XVI said that condom use under certain circumstances (male prostitutes with clients), while not a “real and moral solution,” is O.K... just O.K. Everybody knows the church is against contraception in any form and presumably against prostitution, yet the Pope’s declaration seems to mean if you’re going to sin, sin big. Put a cap on it. Prevent aids. And presumably the prostitution he cites may involve homosexuality. The church is known to be against contraception in any form and would also be against prostitution, especially gay prostitutes one would think, yet somehow the Pope is saying that if you’re going to sin, at least sin responsibly.  In other words, two wrongs almost make a right... Well, No. Probably not unless the prostitute is gay, which unless there’s the possibility of miraculous birth which never before in the history of the world... Oh... Oh... Yes... There was that one time when conception took place without sperm fertilizing egg... so why not male and male, sperm and sperm... think of the sensation... the publicity! Oh! Oh! Anyway, after the backflip, let’s get to the issue... according to the Pope there wouldn’t be an issue if the sex is between man and man or woman and woman... If the prostitute is gay and the client is male, conception can’t take place anyway; and the church’s main issue with contraception of any kind is that it interferes with conception... and we all know what that leads to: people doing it anytime they feel like it (the Pope says that’s sexual addiction); and, of course, slowing down population growth... need I mention it, in a world already struggling to feed and clothe and house more than six billion people... might stunt church growth... How big is Heaven anyway? Is there a population problem there?

As any high school sophomore might say to his Holiness, "Get Real."